Vault: Replays: Brawl Skits
by AuraChannelerChris
Summary: Small scenes depicting the Smashers having small conversations. A whole collection of drabbles ala Tales of series style. Full credit to Twilight Scribe for allowing this fiction to be written. Ch. 12: No Respect For The Green Mario. A note included.
1. Traitor!

Hello, everyone. This time, as I'm aiming to see new kinds of fictions in this section, thankfully, I picked up interest in starting "skits" in the same format as fellow writer Twilight Scribe's writing style, who allowed me to do the same here.

For those who don't know what skits are, skits are small conversations used in all kinds of "Tales of..." games series where characters argue, discuss, and talk about important or unimportant things related to the plot or even themselves.

Okay, here's how things work. In this style, you're not going to see much actions. Also, there won't be points in the chapters where the person who is talking will be depicted at all. Now, I know you're thinking, "Then how are we supposed to know who's talking when there's no way to know without guessing?"

Well, it's simple enough.

Before the start of any chapter, you'll get a very basic plot synopsis with the characters that will appear. In the small synopsis, you'll see who is talking by seeing **how their dialogues are depicted in normal, italic, bold, underlined, and any mixes of all for multiple characters**.

Take in mind that these chapters tend to be very short, discussing some kind of interesting topic. Topics here will always involve Subspace cutscenes, stage battles, items, and many more. There are NOT going to be any instances that revolve about (crazy) fandom out there, so leave this place at once for those people who like yaoi, yuri, and other crazy things. None of those will be displayed here.

Oh, and to make things a bit more interesting, non-speaking characters WILL have to talk so we avoid using only the ones that ACTUALLY speak English, so bear that with me, okay?

**Important notice: Subspace skits will have characters not know each other as in the mode (with some exceptions since some come from the same universe), while other skits will have them know each other outside the mode such as stage battles.**

With that away, I hope I do my best to entertain all people reading this.

This would play if you saved Zelda and ended up fighting Link and Yoshi. Mario is normal, _Pit is italic_, **Link is bold**, and Yoshi is underlined.

* * *

**-Traitor!-**

"Wait a minute... Yoshi, why do you want to fight against me? I thought you didn't want to."

"H-huh? U-um, well, you see... L-Link convinced me you were evil for attacking Zelda, his princess...so...I..."

_"B-but I don't think that was the real one because it was one created by those dark spores! I mean, why would we attack such an ugly-looking princess?"_

**"Did you just call Zelda an ugly-looking princess, you bastard? You should die for that!" (Swings sword at Pit)**

_"W-wait, don't swing that sword on me! H-hey, please, stop! M-Mario!"_

"Pit, I think it was a bad idea to comment how shadows looked evil..."

**"Did you just call Zelda an evil princess, shorty? Die, too!" (Starts attacking Mario)**

"W-wait, you're misunderstanding here! Y-Yoshi, do something! You know him more than I do!"

"I-I'd prefer if I didn't bother Link and his crazy rage behavior, thank you very much..."

* * *

I really didn't think saving Peach was the right option. I mean, if you did choose that one, wouldn't it make Mario's Sonic style rush towards Link a little bit...OOC for him? It makes more sense if you saved Zelda and ended up fighting Link, who fits more in the image of revenge...

So, did you understand how things work here? I hope you did. Since these chapters are really short to do, it'll be really easy for me to get something up very commonly. Also, you're free to suggest me an idea of something that could be worth noticing to make a skit out of it. You can send a suggestion along with your review (and when I mean review, I mean the REVIEW and then the SUGGESTION. Don't you just write a suggestion in the review. Comment about the chapter as well). Credit goes to Twilight Scribe for allowing me to use this writing style. :D

Well, I encourage readers to review and suggest a worthy topic. ;)

...Or I'll save Peach and make Mario run Sonic style at Link.


	2. Barbaric

Here's yet another skit for you.

This would play when Olimar, Meta Knight, and Peach are in a match in the Distant Planet where Olimar loses a certain numbers of Pikmins thanks to Meta Knight. Olimar is normal, **Peach is bold**, _and Meta Knight is italic_.

* * *

-**Barbaric-**

"S-stop, just stop, please! I-I can't take this anymore!"

**"W-what seems to be the problem?"**

"I-I've lost so many Pikmins in this match that I can't just take it anymore! M-make him stop slicing them to their deaths already!"

**"Oh, here he comes..."**

"_There you are. Are you ready to continue?_"

"W-why do you have to display such cruelty against my poor Pikmins? Y-you slice every single one of them whenever I pluck them out! Why? Why do you do such a horrible thing?!"

_"That is simply because it renders you from further attacking me. They're just tools for you to use in here and nothing else. Now, en garde!" (Chases Olimar)_

"S-such barbaric nature you have, I swear!" (Runs away from Meta Knight)

**"...It makes you think most of us are very barbaric while on matches..."**

* * *

This skit was created in a homage for those unlucky and pacifists characters (Yoshi, Pikachu, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Squirtle, Diddy Kong, Kirby, Popo, Nana, Olimar, Peach, Zelda, Mario, **Luigi**, Peach, Ness, Lucas, Toon Link, and Mr. G&W) who have to be put up against really nasty barbarians (pretty much everyone else not mentioned here, who happen to be a lot) every single day.

Oh, and that also counts Pikmins.


	3. Fly

A reminder to all readers: not all suggestions will be accepted since some of them wouldn't fit well in these skits. You can keep trying to suggest another idea, though.

This skit would play if Marth sees Pit "flying" in Skyworld. Marth is normal **and Pit is bold.**

* * *

**-****Fly****-**

"Are you...kidding me?"

**"Um, what am I kidding you for?"**

"Well...no offense, but you said you were able to fly, right?"

**"Of course I can fly."**

"Sorry for being rude...but you didn't fly just now. It looked as if you were just flapping your wings to get some additional jumps."

**"...W-what? That's preposterous and so insulting coming from a person like you! Can't you see I'm an angel?"**

"And angel...that doesn't know how to fly correctly? I can hardly believe that..."

**"Y-you're just being plain mean now! I-I am an angel of Palutena's army; a general! How dare you insult me like that? You should be sent to the Underworld for that, even though you are of royal blood! ...T-that's it, I'm out of here! I'm going to show you that I CAN fly! Palutena shall be a witness so she proves you wrong! Just you wait!" ("Flies" off.)**

"...Some people like to think they can fly when they can just glide down... Pit, well, he acts a bit...never mind..."

* * *

Flying Smashers...more like gliding Smashers. They're forever dammed to glide down in the complicate and random universe that is Brawl... Oh well, they would be cheating if they did fly and stayed in the air forever without being touched.


	4. Quick Attack

Time for a new skit.

This scene would happen after the Brawl cast defeats Tabuu, and they all stand on a random cliff looking at the sunset. Mario is normal **and Sonic is bold**. Enjoy.

* * *

**-****Quick Attack****-**

"So, your name is Sonic, right?"

**"Yep, the world's fastest hedgehog."**

"Can I ask you something, Sonic?"

**"Sure."**

"Remember when you came out of nowhere and used that...curling attack you did on Tabuu's wings?"

**"Yeah. I saved everyone's butts with a Homing Attack."**

"I know that, and we're thankful you did, but...how did you hurt Tabuu's wings so badly? I mean, I remember when the battle started and everyone landed attacks on him, but his wings didn't turn us into trophies anymore. You rather fought him normally, but you couldn't manage to hurt his wings even more. How is it that you hurt him a lot when you attacked him?"

**"Oh, that's because I used a super quick attack when he wasn't looking at my direction."**

"...Sonic, I know there had to be something else in your explanation..."

**"Hmm, not really. All I did was a super quick attack on him, but he then started warping around the area so I couldn't reach him out."**

"But..."

**"Look, unlike you guys, I DID land the first hit on him, and I was lucky I hit his charging wings. I thought he'd unleash some kind of super attack, so why not attacking those wings first? Also, didn't you get I'm the world's fastest hedgehog? My attacks are pretty much lethal!"**

"I...supposed you're right, Sonic..."

**"Good, because I'm not the kind of guy who likes to watch a surprise enemy coming out of nowhere and let him attack me. None of you did that, right?"**

"...We did..."

**"...Sheesh...you guys are too slow, I swear."**

* * *

And the hedgehog proves that being impatient was a good action because, technically speaking, all the Smashers did a grave mistake: shoot glares and stare at the frickin' rings of DEATH coming at them without doing anything else.

Thanks for DianaGohan for submitting this idea!


	5. Just for Show?

A new day, a new skit. This is like the previous skit "Fly", but it is told in the Subspace Emissary storyline.

This would play after Pit uses a footstool jump on Mario after failing to catch the Ancient Minister. Mario is normal and **Pit is bold**.

* * *

**-****Just for Show?****-**

"P-Pit...would you answer me something?"

**"Um, what, Mario?"**

"Why didn't you fly towards our enemy instead of using my head as a supporter to make you jump father? Thanks to that, I got a bruise on my face."

**"A-about that...I...didn't...think about doing it..."**

"...Are you absolutely sure about that?"

**"Y-yes, I am absolutely sure about that!"**

"Hmm, and here I thought angels knew when to fly. I hope those wings aren't for...show."

**"...Are you trying to say I can't fly, Mario? I'm a general of Palutena's army! Didn't you think I knew how to fly because of my position?"**

"I'm not saying that you can't fly, Pit, and I don't know much about your work at Skyworld. It's just that it made me confused when you used me to jump farther..."

**"Well, if you're so doubtful about it, let's try to catch up with our enemy again. Once we do so, you'll see me fly and punish him for provoking this madness."**

"Okay, that sounds more like it. Let's go, then. Hopefully I'll see how good you are at flying, Pit." (Runs off to the east)

**"...I hope he or anybody else doesn't find out that I'm still learning how to fly properly. I'm just a general because I saved Skyworld, not because of my wings... Why, oh why do I have to endure this embarrassment, Palutena? I better start practicing my flight skills or else people will laugh at me and I'll be doomed forever..." (Runs off to the east)**

* * *

Let's all be honest here about the fact that Pit isn't just good at flying. Thank video game logic, though. It makes a lot of sense sometimes, and then it makes no sense many times. For Pit? He just has bad luck. May the skies give him the gift to fly (someday...)

...By the way, I'm not a Pit-hater, so if I made some Pit fans angry, I'm sorry if I did.


	6. So Cold, So Rude

Please, always remind yourself that you need to be listened at all times.

This would play right after Meta Knight and Lucario decide to ignore Popo and Nana falling from the freakin' "Mt. Everest" peak after the Halberd crash-landing. Popo is normal and **Nana is bold**.

* * *

**-****So Cold, So Rude****-**

"Y-you know, I think that Meta Knight didn't care so much about us at all."

**"W-why would you say that?"**

"Well, one, he didn't even care to look at us, and two, he never spoke to us. He was just fixated on getting to the peak."

**"You have a point there...but then, why did we go with him?"**

"Hello, we're the Ice Climbers. If somebody beats us to climb a mountain, we need to maintain our proud code: climb every mountain you want to climb before somebody else does. He was practically trying to climb the mountain."

**"Right."**

"Also, the guy is a freak, I swear. Did you hear anything he muttered to himself? When I got close to him, he muttered, 'I need to get the Halberd back' and 'Those imbeciles shall pay for taking my battleship' and 'These kids are very annoying' and so on."

**"Well, then he certainly isn't a real knight to me. He's so cold."**

"And don't get me started on the blue dog. If you ask me, those two are the worst people I've ever met. Right after that battleship crashed against the mountain, those two decide to join forces so suddenly, but they leave us to freaking DIE by falling down the peak. Also, why the HELL does he accept the blue dog's help and not ours'?"

**"Maybe because that dog proved to be worthy of his assistance after both fought each other by no reason at all... Hey, wait a minute; are we THAT weak, then?"**

"…Those bastards, thinking we're so unworthy to give a helping hand just because of sheer force!"

**"Or maybe because we're not that skilled like they are... I'm not saying they're any better than us, of course."**

"Oh, that's even worse, then!

**"Oh, if we ever get to meet with those guys again, they're gonna pay for leaving us to die."**

"Yeah, we'll prove both of them NOT to mess with us, especially Mr. I'm Awesome Meta Knight Who's Better Than You Ha-Ha. Let's just hope we survive out of this one, though."

**"Talk about being so cold and so rude..."**

* * *

That scene made me think Meta Knight was a bastard. Leaving two innocent kids to fall down a HUGE mountain...and said kids later landed perfectly on safe ground. Also, did anybody notice he never, ever looked at them at least once in a cutscene? (Take in mind Lucario surely saw them arriving, so Meta Knight ends up being the culprit).


	7. Mother Nature Must Be Pretty Messed Up

Hoo boy, a new skit.

This would play whenever you stay for too long in the Yoshi's Island (Brawl) stage and see the seasons change over and over again. Yoshi is normal and **Falco is bold**.

* * *

**-****Mother Nature Must Be Pretty Messed Up****-**

"Aww, the sweet air of autumn. Don't you think it's a refreshing time, Falco?"

**"W-what are you talking about? This place is hell represented in four seasons, changing every damn second! I can't stand all this anymore!"**

"Um, why?"

**"Ugh, do I have to explain it? We've been fighting here in a 30-stock match for two hours, and I'm starting to get some illnesses from being here for too long! Don't you know I HATE Winter season? I hate the cold so much that I could probably enjoy roasting myself in a microwave or an oven! A-achoo!"**

"You're exaggerating, Falco. You should try to enjoy the never-ending changing seasons of my stage."

**"I don't see why people like YOU seem to be in love with nature itself. Guys like me prefer the summer season where you get to relax all day in your house, watching TV. And what the hell are those happy flowers happy about, anyway? They're making me feel sick!"**

"Hey, don't knock the happy flowers. They like to be like that all the time."

**"W-what the heck? T-this place makes no sense to me!"**

"Oh, look, we're in winter season again. I should better make a snowman."

**"B-brr, t-this place is already pretty much screwed up as it is... T-that's it, you win this match! I can't stop s-shaking and s-sneezing for any longer! A-achoo!"**

"Falco, you can't just drop out like that! If I remember, you're twelve stocks ahead of me!"

**"W-who cares about them, really? I care about staying healthy, and staying in the winter season for the billionth time isn't exactly my idea for a relaxing time! I dunno you, but I don't want to have a mixture of a cold and a fever! Screw you, I'm outta here!" (Jumps off the stage)**

"...Heheheh, clueless Falco. You just couldn't tell I dragged you in here so you stopped boasting your winning streak over me during previous occasions... Well, it's Winter season, so I better start making that snowman. Some people can't understand how great this place is." (Happy note)

* * *

I don't want to think about what Falco would do if he stayed for too long in The Summit. He'd probably blast it to its oblivion with his Arwing... Too bad that he can't use his Arwing during matches, though.


	8. Snake's Extended Codec: Tolerating Recon

And here we are again, doing another skit.

This skit would play after a lookout tower is built magically back in front of Snake with a fight against Bowser in Shadow Moses Island. Take in mind that this is going to start a small series of special skits involving Snake's stance in Brawl. Snake is normal, _Otacon is italic, _**and Mei Ling is bold.**

* * *

**-****Snake's Extended Codec – Tolerating Recon-**

"Otacon, the lookout tower that the tortoise monster wrecked with his head rebuild by itself in front of my eyes."

"_What? How come?"_

"How the heck should I know? All the debris that fell to the snow magically pieced back together to build the tower again."

"_Maybe there's some kind of magic on the works behind the scenes."_

"**Maybe it has to do with the broken laws of physics in this universe."**

"I'll bet my butt that it's the laws of physics. They're seriously broken here. Seriously, I'm fighting Mario here, dammit. But even so, seeing an event like this happen seriously worries me."

"_Well, are you dropping out from the fight?"_

"Like I would. Just to be sure of all this, I'll stay and find out what in the name of Ocelot is going on around here, and also to find out if I contracted some kind of incurable disease while being here. I'm already getting irritated to see a lot of bull-crap like pesky hedgehogs and angels, but I'll research this further."

"**And while you're at it, do you mind catching that Pikachu for me?"**

"Why do you want me to catch that rat? What good use will it do to us?"

"**It has electricity in its body, and we could have an instant power supply like a Pikachu for emergencies. You could catch it so I can study it a bit more closely as well."**

"…_Even I know you want to stroke its head instead of conducting research on it, Mei Ling."_

"**T-that's not true, of course…"**

(Sighs) "I'm surrounded by a bunch of fanatics here, am I not? Mei Ling and her dreams of getting some electric rat, and Otacon and his otaku stuff."

"…_You do know we listen to everything you say under your breath no matter where you are at all times, right, Snake?"_

"Yeah, think of that as a punishment for eavesdropping on my personal affairs. This is why you shouldn't do that kind of thing to serious people like me."

"_Snake…"_

* * *

Snake is forever destined to be heard anywhere he goes, even when he curses and swears people, even his own team. So what good does it bring to us? Amusement, that is.


	9. I Have Got No Reason to Fight

After a four-month hiatus, this story is back on track.

This would play whenever Red (AKA Pokemon Trainer) loses his initial Pokémon in a team fight with Lucas against two random opponents in the Pokémon Stadium 2. _Red is normal,_ **and Lucas is bolded**.

* * *

**-****I Have Got No Reason to Fight, Even Though I Do****-**

"That's it… I can't fight anymore…"

"**But why? You still have Charizard and Squirtle with you!**"

"I'm not allowed to use more than one if the one that gets knocked out is…well, knocked out."

"**Oh… Right…**"

"…This sucks so much. Besides the fact the damage is magically, or, SOMEHOW transferred over to my other Pokémon, one Pokémon out means I'm done for! There is no logic in this world!"

"**Uh, I think everyone pretty much knows that…**"

"So what do I now? I stick around to see how everyone beats their brains out of each other while I rest in the very edge of the stage? What if I trip down and I can't use Charizard? I can't see a floor down below this stadium floating in the middle of…the stadium! I-it's creepy when you think about it! I've never fell down before, but what if I do fall down now?"

"**I-I can help you…**"

"Yes, you can, if you can break through the 2-D clause and catch me. You're stuck in your own 2-D space while I'm stuck in my OWN that nobody else can use unless there's another palette swap of me running around... You know what? Just go ahead and beat our opponents… I'm going to fret alone in a corner where the stage doesn't changes its appearance." *Leaves ten feet away, lowering cap*

"…**Is he crying? I hear some sobs…**"

* * *

The Brawl World once again puts another innocent Smasher in a trauma…

On a related note (maybe not so much), I'm thinking about adding events into the skits as well. Be on the lookout for them, but I will include original skits as well. ;)


	10. Irony Couldn't Be Such a Cheapskate

I wonder. Maybe this fiction is worthy to be called a collection of one-shots because these are practically too short and easy to read. It takes a few sentences to appeal readers who like to read fast and get amused. Well, I hope I can amuse them.

This would play right in the Subspace Emissary, after the Magnificent Five (Mario, Link, Yoshi, Kirby, and Pit) get into Dedede's Lair right after it was attacked, with the little fact that Peach was the one kidnapped by Dedede. Mario is normal_, Link is bolded_, **Yoshi is bolded, **_**Kirby is bolded and underlined**_**, **and Pit is underlined.

* * *

**-Irony Couldn't Be Such a Cheapskate-**

"_Something definitely happened in here. Look at all that rumble._"

"It must be their doing again. This place looks a bit too luxurious. I mean, I'm pretty sure Dedede wouldn't destroy his place because that statue of himself is really broken to pieces."

"_Uh, wow. You can even see your reflection on the rock. He must polish them really nicely._"

"**I can't shake the feeling that somebody else broke in here, then. Shouldn't we run into that cave? It doesn't look like it was there before…"**

"He's right! This cave looks a little bit new to me. What's more, there are footprints!"

"_**These footprints are too big…**_"

"Yes, they do… Wait, this size is from…Bowser? Oh no, he was here. He surely broke into Dedede's Lair to kidnap Peach again."

"_And let's not forget he took all the other trophies."_

It's too bad that Luigi wasn't here with me because he would've saved Peach…I think."

"**Speaking of which, where is Luigi?**"

"He told me he was coming here, but he's getting late by now. Wherever he is, he needs to give us a hand. I get the feeling he's nearby."

"**Really? How so?**"

"Call it a Brotherly Love Bond… That's just something I use to feel okay, though. There's no way he's in here."

"_We can't waste any more time. There's nothing to examine in here but the rumble that fell from the ceiling. Let's go!_"

"Kirby, stop digging out anything from that rumble and follow us!" *Runs away*

"_**Hmm…**_" _***Runs away***_

* * *

Isn't it kind of weird that Mario at first didn't notice Luigi's (ultra rare) trophy was in the truck when he saw Peach was being taken away? Then again, Luigi's (ultra tare) trophy was upside down and the truck's hand-bar was blocking the view. So much for that Brotherly Love Bond of his…


	11. Lies, All Lies

And now, it's time to get this story updated once more.

This scene would play in the "heavenly" multiplayer results' screen if Fox manages to win a match against anybody. Fox is normal, **Ike is bold, **_Diddy is italics, _and Ganondorf is underlined.

* * *

**-Lies, All Lies-**

"This is Fox, returning to base."

_*Whispers* "This is what, the ninetieth time he says that and he doesn't leave at all?"_

"**I have no idea why he keeps saying that. Perhaps he hates all of us?"**

"Fools, he is clearly showing off. It is the nature of fools like him to say such trivial things that make no sense."

"_Maybe he likes us so much deep down in his very soul that his mouth doesn't agree with him."_

"**That's a really crazy way of putting it. I bet he regrets saying that every time. Why, he could be thinking otherwise."**

"To be fair, I would stay far away from the lot of you. He has got a reason to hate you all like I do. I cannot blame him for fighting a puffball every five minutes. This entire tournament event…it can drive people insane in a blink of an eye. He has fallen pathetically, it seems."

"**Hmm, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you might be right with that. I had heard some of us tend to go insane for unknown reasons. I guess it has to do with the fact very impossible things happen in this universe."**

"_You seriously got startled when that toaster popped out bread that you went as far to SMASH IT with your sword, along with that crazy war yell you did."_

"**I-I thought it was some kind of monster made out of steel at the time I arrived! I don't come from a techno-something era like most of you do!"**

"I knew it. This very place can turn anybody insane. It is so bad that everyone here is such a filthy liar like that stupid, cocky forest animal."

*Bored* "…You guys do know I'm standing between all of you, right?"

"Shut up and go back to your filthy base now! Your homesickness is just sickening!"

"Oh no, I'm here to stay. What makes you say that?"

"…_Ganondorf, you are right about the insanity syndrome. I think I'm going insane myself now."_

"Honestly…"

* * *

Don't worry, everyone. Fox is never, ever going to leave us behind and go back to his base despite his eagerness to do so roughly 33% of the time after he wins a match! *Sucumbs to insanity*


	12. No Respect For The Green Mario

It's been a hell lot of time ever since I last updated this story. Good thing something came up randomly.

This scene would play is you completed the Single Player mode with Luigi. Luigi is normal. _Master Hand is italic._

* * *

**-No Respect For The Green Mario-**

"_Mwahahahaha! I congratulate you for fighting all your way through…the…"_

"...What?"

"_Uh…seriously? The Other Mari-I mean, Luigi?"_

"W-what's wrong with me?"

"_Well… This was…unexpected…"_

"U-unexpected how?"

"_Unexpected that you, of all people made it here, of course! Hell, even I was thinking somebody like Lucas would make it in one piece! But…you? Seriously?"_

"H-hey! Let me tell you it wasn't easy getting through all of them!"

"_You sure you didn't use a few Continues? Wait, what? You have four lives left and you didn't use a single Continue? Didn't the Giant Bowser give you trouble?"_

"U-um, he was the only one who did…"

"_WHAT! And the Zelda duo? And the Giant Yoshi? What about the Pokémon duo I set up?"_

"Y-you know, I did notice almost every special match was me against a giant… Good thing Poison Mushrooms were around to even the odds… Wait a minute! Why were all of those the same? In fact, I suck a lot when I'm facing a giant! Also, it looked weird that everyone I faced was someone I wasn't very good at beating!"

_(Mutters) "It's because I like seeing you struggle and suffer."_

(Totally did hear that) "W-what did you sa-"

"_FIGHT ME TO DEATH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"_

"W-WAAAAAAH!"

* * *

Don't worry, Green Mario! I still like you.

Special Note: I have succeeded in creating my own forum in this site. Check it out when you can! Have some fun talking to others while enjoying some heated Online matches in the Mario Kart 7 community. :D


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